It feels so good to be back on the Blog. I took a couple months off of writing to get healed up. Just came out of one of the hardest seasons of my life if I can be completely honest. Relationships are hard, life can get harder, and the decisions we make daily really does determine our future. But you know what? Through it all. God is still good. I learned A LOT! But I feel refreshed and healed up. So no better way to start this new year off healthy and happy am I right?
Today I want to be honest with you girls and talk to you about one of my biggest struggles. I believe every girl walks through this stuff, but no one wants to be honest and open up about it. How is that so? Why don't we talk to our friends about our pains? Why don't we cry and get it all out? Why don't we surrender our failures to God and really open up to Him? Why don't we really allow Him to heal what is really going on in our lives, our heart, and in our minds?
Well get comfy wherever you are. Whether you are on the couch with your tea or hot coffee, or sitting in a cute coffee shop. Lean in, and get ready to learn from my mistakes. I believe in you! I believe God has so much for you. But in order to reach our full potential, we have to be honest and open up. Here we go! The title of this Blog is called "Who Cares". The reason for this title is because us girls have got to stop caring what other people think. Below are some verses in the Bible that could help encourage you to not care so much of what others think. Who would have thought the Bible spoke so much about our feelings and motives. Crazy! Grab a pin or copy these in your notes on your iPhone. Note takers are history makers.
Proverbs 29:25 "It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe"
Psalm 118:8 "It is better to take refuge in the LORD Than to trust in man."
2 Corinthians 5:13 "If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you."
1 Corinthians 1:27 "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong."
Did you know we are our biggest critics? No one criticizes yourself more than yourself. You have to let go. Stop making a big deal out of things and you won’t be so nervous and discouraged. What sense does it make to pretend that someone is judging us? Most people will not sit there and calculate your life. If you have low self-esteem, you’re introvert, or you struggle with nervousness Satan will try to feed you lies. Don’t listen to him. Stop over thinking things. I believe you hurt yourself more by constantly making a big deal out of the smallest things. Many of us come from a dark past, but we must remember to look to the cross and the love of God. Turn to Christ. He is enough. I said it before and I’ll say it again if you are confident in Christ you will be confident in every area of your life. I do not believe there is any way to fully stop caring what others think. We can become bold, we can do the will of God, we can become more confident, more extroverted, etc.
Although we can compress it and we can significantly become better in this area I believe that we were all affected by the fall. There is a psychological battle within us that we all have to deal with. I know that some people struggle with this more than others, but never are we left to deal with this on our own. We must look to the Lord for help in our time of need. God’s grace is sufficient for any problem that you may face because of this. Caring what other people think can cause you to make a terrible impression on others. Instead of being genuine and expressing who you are you put on a façade. You change the way you do things and you try to impress instead. Your mind is going in so many different directions that it can cause you to just stall in anxiety. This is a huge topic that can go in so many different directions. Sometimes to get better with this all we need is confidence in the Lord, more experience, and practice. For example, if you have to make a public speech and you are afraid of what others may think know that with experience you become better at it. Practice with a group of family members and above all cry out to the Lord for help.
Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you."
Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid: do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Caring what others think will cause you to miss out on a lot.
What do I mean by this you ask? When you’re so focused on what others think it stops you from being yourself. You start to calculate everything and you say, “well I can’t do this or I can’t do that.” You can’t be yourself because you’re too busy being what you think others want you to be. I remember I had a friend in middle school that was afraid to go out with a girl who he liked because he was afraid of what others would think. He missed out on a beautiful girl. Caring what others think will cause you to fear every situation that you’re put in. You will be afraid to loosen up and have fun because you will think what if everybody laughs at me. You might be afraid to meet new people. You will be afraid to have fun. You might be afraid to pray in public. It can cause you to make financial mistakes. You will be a people-pleasing yes man, it can even cause you to be afraid to tell others you’re Christian.
Sometimes just like Peter, we tell God that we will never disown Him, but we disown Him every day. I used to have a fear of praying in public. I would go in restaurants and quickly pray when no one was watching. I used to care about the thoughts of others. Jesus says, “If you’re ashamed of me on Earth I’ll be ashamed of you.” It got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore and God helped me to boldly pray in public disregarding the thoughts of others. I don’t care! I love Christ. He is all I have and I’ll boldly pray to Him before the world. Are there things right now in your life that reveal a heart that disowns God in some areas? Are you afraid to pray in public because of what other people think? Do you turn down the Christian music when you’re in front of your friends?
Are you always afraid to witness because of what others might think? Are you afraid to tell worldly friends that the real reason that you can’t do what they do is because of Christ? Caring what others think is so dangerous to your testimony and to your walk of faith. You will become a coward and the Scriptures teach us that cowards will not inherit the Kingdom. Examine your life. As I was reading and digging in the word, I found a couple people who did not care what others think about them. They did not allow others to move their fear.
-Abraham never saw rain before, and he still believed God and trusted Him fully and built a giant ark.
-Mary was a virgin and had never had sex, but yet she still gave birth to Jesus and did not care about what others think.
-Esther was a Jew and no one knew her. Yet, God appointed her and she trusted in Him and became a queen over her city.
-Joseph was sold into slavery by his own family. He ended up in prison for something he did not do. And yet, he still trusted God and didn't allow people to move his faith.
-David was a young nobody. He played a harp in an empty field. And still trusted in God. Was brought in by the people, to kill a giant. No one knew him, he was a small man with one thing.. Faith.
All this being said. When you have God on your side. You do not need to sit and overthink about what others think of you. What others are going to say about you. WHO CARES! I use to spend so much time and energy worrying about what others think of me. What others will do when I make a move. I use to live in fear for so long caring way too much of what other people thought of me. I began to isolate myself in this box and put on a lid on myself to cope with the pain. But I am so over that now. I am so tired of getting on social media wondering what people think of what I post. I am so over not opening up my heart to someone or getting in a relationship, and wondering what people will say about me or who I am dating. I am so done with being scared to speak up in my work place of what I believe in and how my life is different because of Jesus. I use to live my life so fake, because I was so scared of living life and being honest with myself and others. I am so over "overthinking" what I am going to wear that day, or what others think by the brands I wear, or the car I drive.
Girls.. WHO CARES! Who cares if others lie about you. Who cares if other girls spread rumors. Who cares about "what he said, or she said". You should not have to spend your life in fear, and caring so much of what others think. We miss out so much in life when we put ourselves in a box and close the lid. The devil wants you to live life in a closed box. He want to put all these thoughts in your head. He wants you overthinking every decision you make, or who you like and don't like. WHO CARES!
Caring what others think leads to making bad decisions.
Sadly, we see this every day. We want people to notice us so we buy more expensive things. Many people are managing their finances terribly because they want people to have a better opinion about them. It is a terrible thing to buy things that you can’t afford to look good in front of others. Caring what others think can also lead to sin. For example, you’re ashamed of your job so it leads to lying. You’re tired of your family asking when are you going to get married so you go out with an unbeliever.
You don’t want to seem like a square so you hang with the cool crowd and join in their ungodly activities. We must be careful and remove the spirit of caring what others think from our lives.
Caring what others think leads to a watered down gospel.
God cannot use you if you are afraid to offend people with the truth. The gospel is offensive! There is no other way around it. After over a decade of being alone with God John the Baptist went to go preach and he had no fear of man. He didn’t go out to seek fame or a title he went to preach repentance. When is the last time that you’ve heard a TV preacher tell their audience to turn away from their sins? When is the last time that you have heard a TV preacher say that "to serve Jesus it’s going to cost you your life?" When is the last time that you have heard Judah Smith teach, "that it is hard for the rich to enter into Heaven?" You won’t hear that because the money will stop coming in. The gospel is so watered down that it is no longer the gospel. If I didn’t hear the true gospel I would have never been saved! I would have been a false convert. It’s all of grace and I can still live like the devil that is a lie from Hell.
Luke 6:26 "Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for their fathers used to treat the false prophets in the same way."
1 Thessalonians 2:4 "But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts."
There are times when we should care.
I had to add this extra point so no one goes overboard. When I say don’t care what others think I am not saying to live in sin. I am not saying that we shouldn’t be careful about causing our brothers to stumble. I am not saying that we shouldn’t listen to authority or to correction. I am not saying that we shouldn’t humble ourselves and love our enemies. There is a way that we can go so far in the wrong direction with this that we can hurt our Christian testimony, we can be loveless, arrogant, selfish, worldly, etc. We have to use godly and wise discernment when we should care and when we shouldn’t.
To close with this Blog. I want you to leave reading this being encourage and not discouraged. I want you to really grasp what I am saying. Fear of living your life because of people is a lie from the enemy. You were not meant to be in a closed box. You were born and created with a purpose. A calling, and a life to live pure and blessed. God has way too much to put in your hands if you let Him.
Christine Caine once quoted in her message. "We limit our supernatural God. We limit and confine God. We put God in a box and we don't dream the God dream for our life. All because of our past and what others tell us."
Forgetting those things that lye behind us. You better know and believe what He says about you. Believe it ladies.
Everyday you have to fight the lies of the enemy about what be says about you and what you can and cannot do. Look at all the mistakes behind you, and leave them there. You have to let go and stop minimizing God and what He can do. You have to have courage and let go, and walk in freedom, Most of us are so scared of the pain of the recovery, that we embrace the pain and don't step into the future. Healing is a process. Just like me, I had to take a break from writing and blogging to heal myself and give God all my issues. All my pain and mistakes that I had made in my past. Years of healing and wrestling with God, but the fruit of the future is far more abundant and greater for me now that I took the time and did that.
You have to let go of the past in your hands. Drop it, so you can pick up the blessings of the future. You can not hold both in your hands at the same time. The whole purpose of Jesus and the cross was to give us a life of freedom and a new start.
You are God's workmanship. You are the head and not the tail. You are above and not beneath. You are a leader and not a follower. Claim that over your life today ladies. Do not spend anymore time worrying about what others think about you. WHO CARES! The words you put into your mind, your thoughts, and your spirit will flow out. Speak life and truth over your thought and your future and see what happens.
I love you ladies! I hope you have enjoyed this blunt blog. True freedom is when we are completely honest with ourselves. I hope you girls have an amazing week. Stay tuned for my next Blog, you don't want to miss it.
-Holli
