I am so happy and excited it is finally the weekend. The sun is finally out, and the weather in southern California is finally hot enough to lay out at the beach and tan. As I am sitting in my quiet bedroom, cuddled up under my favorite white blanket. I got to thinking about how busy the month of June has already been for me and my little family. I feel like I can't even remember what day it is, or I sometimes loose count of what the date actually is. Life is busy, plans are made, and as we adult we tend to go fast forward, and we miss moments if we are not careful. And that is my topic for the day. Time, plans, and moments.
I have titled this one "Click Fast Forward". Why you may ask? Well as I was watching Netflix this week, I had the remote in my hand and God spoke something to me so softy that I would like to share you with.
He said “Holli, your have turned your life on Fast Forward so you do not have to deal with situations or moments that you do not life. But that is not how I created you to be. Slow down, and trust me.”
You are in for a treat!
Grab your hot cup of coffee from a coffee shop or the Keurig in the kitchen, and lets get started.
As we begin, let me just give you a brief summery of who I am personality wise. I am not a patient person. I am learning and growing everyday. But patience is not my strong suit. I am list and to do's kind of girl. I go very fast. The is no shortcuts with me. I get things done very fast and in order. I love calendars. I could tell you what I am doing three months from now on a Tuesday at 7pm. That is just me. I am constantly moving fast forward. Almost as fast as when you are watching a movie and you "Click Fast Forward" to get to the scene you want to watch.
I say all this because I believe us girls do this in life. We “Click Fast Forward” to get to the scene we want to happen in life. We do this two ways. One, we either do this to skip the hurt and motions we want to avoid. Or two, we have a mindset of going so fast because we do not know how to trust people or even God in the moment. We tend to speed up the process to get what we want. I had this mentality for a long time because of the way I was raised. I grew up with a father who was really controlling. Everything had to be so perfect, and if it was not I was known as a screw up. Things like homework, my room being clean, my attitude, the front we put on in front of people, or even in sports. I remember in detail my father coming home, and if something was not PERFECT in his eyes, we would have consequences. So years of having this mentality, I then learned that everything I did had to be fast, rushed, and so perfect. Days and years went by, and BOOM, Holli does not know how to rest or to slow down. I have missed so many moments in my past and had so many attitude breakdowns with my husband, because things in life did not go perfect or the way I wanted them to go.
For an example, here is a funny but not so funny story that happened to us about a month ago. We were driving back from Phoenix, AZ visiting some family friends for the weekend. We were an hour away from home in a city called Palm Springs. This city is in the middle of the desert. All you see is windmills, dirt, and mountains. The nearest gas station was 15 miles away. We were driving my old black Honda back from our getaway, and as we drive down the last mountain, the engine blows and our car slowly breaks down and stops. I could not press the breaks, nor could I put the car in park. I had to slowly stop and drift the car to the shoulder and wait for the car to stop, so I can turn it off. "Seriously God" I thought. I got so mad I started yelling at my husband and began to freak out. Why? Because a life situation happened, and things didn't turn out perfect or the way I had planned. We were stranded on the side of the road for two long and hot hours. Its 6pm now, and its getting dark. Bugs are biting us on our legs, and the car is not starting. We had to wait for the tow truck to come drag us home. Could you imagine my reaction? It was not good! While I was going crazy in the moment, my husband stopped me and said "Can you just be in the moment, and see what is in front of you." That is when I knew that my life was on "Click Fast Forward" mode.
I say all this because I had to check myself. Life happens. But because of the way I was raised, I did not know how to handle imperfect situations without blowing up on someone or something. I was the type of girl who always “Clicked Fast Forward”, so I did not have to deal with things. I did not know how to slow down, take a breather, and process.
I think a lot of us girls are like this and do not even realize it. We go so fast every day. We push things aside, and maybe even speak negative things to our spouse or friends. But I want to tell you today from my experience and learning and growing in this area. This is not healthy. Life happens. But in those moments, in stead of freaking out and cursing at God. Why don't we just take a breath, know that everything is eventually going to be okay, and really trust God through the process.
I struggled a lot with Anxiety growing up without even realizing it. Whatever age you are now. Middle school, high school, college, young mom, or even grandmother. Know that at the end of the day God is going to work things out. We can get so caught in the day or hour that we tend to “Click Fast Forward” just to avoid dealing with junk in our lives. We want to skip to the scene so we can avoid these problems.
There is a man in the Bible named Noah. He was a old bearded man that built the Ark for the great flood. He had so many people from villages and cities come up to him and betray him for building this crazy Ark. He knew the promise God gave him, and because of that promise Noah chose to take everyday and slow down, and follow the directions. Did Noah have bad days? Of course he did. But one thing I always admired about Noah and his story, is he did not hesitate or throw a fit while building this Ark. He had a plan, a structure, and knew what needed to be done.
He could have thrown in the hammer and nails after a week of building this boat and gave up and freaked out. He could have gotten into so many fights with his wife and left her and the kids. He could have cursed God, and then this story would have never been written in the Bible. But because of his patience and obedience, Noah reaped a harvest. Noah did not "Click Fast Forward" while building this Ark. He could have, and he had a lot of opportunity to do so, but he chose to trust God in the midst of building and seeing the promise that was made come to past.
I don't know about you girls, but I would love to be like Noah. To have patience and learn how to take things slow. We can work hard and do things right. But don't let those things get in the way of missing the moments. I am talking about moments with friendships, God moments where He is trying to speak to you, or even moments of just checking your motives and attitudes when a bad situation happens. It can be so easy for us to lash out and speak so negative to people, when we are fired up and angry. I use to not even think before I spoke, and just lash out at someone because I did not like what happened or how I was treated.
But over the years and with great wisdom by people helping me walk through this issue, I have learned that we should take a second, rethink what we are about to speak, and trust God that He is going to make everything okay. It may not be that second, or in the time we want it. But He always comes through. I believe our attitude really does affect the solutions to our problems. We should be women with character and walk in patience and in love.
So to end with this, don't "Click Fast Forward" on your life, in your workplace, or in your walk with Christ just to get by and live. Slow down! Do not miss the moments He is trying to tell you or show you. I missed so many moments, and I will never be able to go back in time to change them. Think before you speak to people around you. Take a second to breath and ask God for patience and wisdom before you open your mouth. We have way too many girls in this world who can not find healthy friends, all because of the words we speak. If you trust God now, Great! But I encourage you to trust Him a little more than you do now. Stretch your faith this week and see how your heart changes. When something goes wrong, and life situations happen when you least expect it to. Whether your car breaks down, you lose your job, you get a bad grade, your boyfriend breaks up with you, or your parents hurt you or put you down. Whatever it may be, ask God for wisdom before you just "Click Fast Forward" just to get to the scene in your life you want to look see. We can miss so many moments when we fast forward the scenes God wants to show us and grow us in.
I hope you beautiful ladies have an amazing weekend. Go to the pool, hangout with your friends, or sleep in. Until next time.
Holli
