The weekend is finally here! I love weekends, although the weather in California has been very hot and humid. So my weekend will consist of tanning at the beach and lots of water bottles.
​I am so excited to be the guest writer for HER® this week. I got to thinking about what I wanted to share with you girls. And this one memory kept coming back to my mind. It is actually a personal situation that happened to me a couple weeks ago by a friend. So lets get real, shall we? Grab a seat on your couch or bed and your coffee, and lets get started.
​Have you ever felt belittled by someone before? Let me get more detailed! Have you ever found yourself excited about life and actually have joy for once. And someone (maybe a friend or stranger) tried to come in and steal your joy. They tried to crush your dreams after talking with them about some ideas of what you wanted to do in school, or maybe even start your own business? Us girls always overthink everything! I know I am not the only girl in this world who feels like this sometimes. We all do! But this person happened to be really close to me, and yet I felt as if they crushed me and my motives. Did not see this one coming. It came out of nowhere. I was sharing with this friend about a business I am starting. And trying to explain what I am doing and where I see it going. I finally had joy for once in my life about it. I was so excited. I was ready! Little did I know, this person was not happy with their life, so they threw all their negative thoughts and words onto me. Because the truth is, hurt people hurt people. That is life. And we have to be careful with how we allow peoples thoughts and negative words come into our life and stick to us.
​I was shopping the other day in this cute little boutique by myself. I love shopping! As I was walking around the store, I spotted a cute pink top on the clearance rack. The two things us women like to do at this moment is. One, check the size. Two, check the price. This top was the perfect size and in my price budget. So I did what any girl would do. I bought it. I then left the store and walked to my car. As I got into my car and started the engine, God spoke so clearly to me. It was one of those moments where It was complete silent, and chills rushed over my arms.
He said it so clear. "Holli, just like "The Clearance Rack" you bought that top from, you sometimes treat yourself like that. If you are not careful with the words from others, you can attach those words to your mind and heart, and believe the lies hurt people say to you. I created you at a high price, don't allow other peoples words put your identity on "The Clearance Rack."
​I mean whoa God! Wow! Way to hit me straight to the heart! I turned off the radio in my car and drove straight home in complete silence. It got me thinking! This is so true! Us girls can attach other peoples words that are said to us or over us, and we can easily identify that as our identity.
​I'm not sure who this word was for out there. But hear me out! Do NOT let someone else (whether that is a friend, or a stranger) declare hurt words over your life. We can get so caught up in life and friendships, and start to believe anything people say to us. Then we start to overthink the words that were said. And easily believe those words as our identity. I know for me, I started questioning my calling and this business God told me to start. I started to believe the lies and belittle myself. Then doubt checked in, and all my dreams began to fade away. It controlled my mind and my thoughts. Then I would start thinking about it all the time, and soon enough, I began to dream about these thoughts. Crazy right?!
Here are some verses below that helped me understand more about how strong our words are.
​James 3:8
"But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison."
​Proverbs 18:21
​"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. "
James 3:5
"So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! "
​This topic really gave me a new perspective of things. I use to be so sensitive when going through tough times, but now I just soak it all in and ask God how can I fix myself. Then I apply it and usually write about it. I think for us girls, words from other people are really important to us, if I am being completely honest. We love words of affirmation. We love when our friends or boyfriends compliment us. We even take pride when someone appreciates us. Or, when people tell us we are doing a great job. Whether it is our outfit, our job, or a business we are starting, we love compliments. But we must be really careful how we allow other peoples words effect us.
​Don't put yourself on "The Clearance Rack" and belittle yourself and your purpose, just because someone else who is hurt says so. God has called you to such a HIGH PRICE. He created you unique. He gave you dreams not other girls get. He gave you visions other girls cant see. He called to be the head and not the tail. He wants you to carry your worth with pride. Do NOT let someone else's words effect you. If this happens to you again, go home and look yourself in the mirror. And start to declare positive and encouraging words over your life. Life is way too short to worry about someone else's opinions. We are worth way more than that.
​And lastly I want to end with this. If you are the girl (on the flip side) who has been hurt. And in the past you used your hurtful words and attached them to someone else you. Know there is hope. From here on out, be careful with how you speak to other people. Our words are so sharp, and even though they may not hurt someone at the moment, they can hurt them down the road and you will be accounted for and responsible for those actions to God.
​We want to always think before we speak. My Momma use to tell me "Holli, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all." I never understood that until I got hurt by so many friends and their words. We need to be women who stand out, and known for the kindness that comes out of our mouths. If we can get this down, we can be world changers. And other girls in this world will not have a hard time finding good friendships. The most attractive thing you can carry is your words. You will be amazed how many people start to follow you, if you can learn to speak kindness and uplifting. If you think about it, no girl wants to be friends with girls who degrade them or belittle them in life. Am I right?! I encourage you as I finish up. Try this week to practice speaking life in stead of death over people and even your closest friends. You will begin to bare good fruit if you can do that. And God will honor and bless you for this. I promise!
​I hope you enjoyed this read. I hope your weekend is fabulous. Try to stay off "The Clearance Rack" and know your purpose, and what God has called you to do and how to life.
​ Holli
